| 000; Gwendolyn Rhiannon MacDougal |
[September 17; 04:08pm] |
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"I'm in my war; you're in yours; do we fight for peace as they take another piece of us."( Read more... )
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| 022; 10 May 1980. |
[May 10; 08:11pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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Can he really
[Warded Private] He could do it couldn't he? They clearly are more willing to listen to him than to the Ministry. And it seems it could hardly be any less safe than what it is currently. Could I be any more terrified to walk outside of the castle than I am? If we could have Quidditch again for Kamal and Madog so they were not cooped up inside their houses antsy and restless?
I know what Morgan would say, and perhaps I do not disagree with her -- but I am tired of living in fear. I am so very tempted to tell Kamal that we should leave England entirely. If - but
It will not happen. And perhaps even if it did, it would not be enough -- or it would not make things better. Not since they know that Morgan and Angus are fighting them. We would likely all be condemned with the same stroke regardless of our blood.
I am beginning to think that peace is a myth.
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| 021; 11 April 1980 |
[April 11; 01:04am] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
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[Warded Private] As it so frequently is, life is such a mess of emotions.
I am still terrified to go to work, to go anywhere but work really.
I'm happy that Kamal's project is coming together. I know it's not the same as quidditch, but it is something.
And I've no idea what to do for Morgan. I cannot imagine if it were Kamal, and we have not even been together so long. Nick was such a good man. And I suppose there is someone out there to say that about everyone that has been killed in this war, but when I know someone -- well it is different. It is so very different. I just... I don't know.
[Warded to Morgan]You know I'm here whenever you need me -- whatever you need. Even if it's just swearing at me. I can handle that, no matter how much I might complain about it normally.
And I love you.
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| 020; 20 March 1980. |
[March 20; 11:00pm] |
[Warded Private]I know that other people are writing things publicly and writing things that I could not even imagine writing privately. How does one taunt -- He is. Well it is not as if You Know Who has not proven that he is willing to go to any lengths. Why would you even want to post anything publicly at all? Particularly something that almost screams for him to come and get you? Why would you do that to your friends and your family? What good does it do? Perhaps it is because I am a Ravenclaw, but I cannot understand why you would publicly taunt wizards that have proven they have no moral scruples and that they are willing to do anything to those who oppose them.
I know why Morgan and Angus are doing what they are doing. I even support it because I feel as if I want to do more myself, but on the other hand I am terrified to even go to work these days. I have begun taking my own lunch because I am terrified to spend too much time out and alone. I- am going hardly anywhere but the Castle and Kamal's flat, and Kamal is stuck doing very little because there is no Quidditch.
I have never considered the idea of leaving Britain, but part of me can't help but wonder if India would not be a good idea right now.
I just. I want -
I just want to be left alone.
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| 019; 27 February 1980. |
[February 27; 05:19pm] |
( Warded Private )
( Warded to Kamal )
I have a cat. I admit that I have never dressed her up. Not because I think it is cruel or heartless to do so, but it simply never occurred to me to do so. Well, unless a collar counts.
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| 018; 21 February 1980. |
[February 21; 05:01pm] |
I'm all right. my boyfri My boyfriend isn't. What kind of fucked up people are willing to tear apart so many families and lives? Ideals? they mean nothing if there's no one there to - This isn't right. And my brother is far more eloquent than I am right now. I'm sorry. |
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| 016; 2 February 1980. |
[February 02; 02:24pm] |
( Warded Private )
( Warded to MacDougals )
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
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| 015; 19 January 1980. |
[January 19; 01:34pm] |
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mood |
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( Warded Private )
( Warded to Kamal )
When I was a bit younger, I used to wonder, as I read through my mystery and detective novels, if people in those professions would get used to death or people dying, and it would become just another thing to them. And of course, I didn't spend lots and lots of time thinking on it, but now I rather hope the answer is no. I know that as humans, we adapt and we manage to survive, because at heart, I think we're all survivors. We want to survive, and in some sort of fight, we're going to be seeking that end, but if we ever look at the loss of another human potential and we don't recognise the loss for what it is, who have we become then? I'm not certain I'd want to know.
And that's a bit heavy, I suppose. On the attempt of something lighter, I am now down to two books in my 'to-read' stack, and am taking recommendations. Considering, I'd prefer something in the romance or history genre, and less in the murder mystery genre, thank you.
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| 014; 10 January 1980. |
[January 10; 08:56pm] |
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mood |
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morose |
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I want to extend my condolences to everyone who has lost loved ones in the past few weeks it feels as if it has been too many
( Warded to Kamal )
( Warded Private )
( Warded to Morgan )
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